Fw: End of Financial Year AppealI'd like to tell you about a woman I once knew. Her name was Marie and for over 39 years she was my wife. She died in October 2009 aged 61. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in early 2003.

------Original Message------
From: JASMINEELISAWHO? Jasmine Elisa Beltran
To: JASMINEELISAWHO? Jasmine Elisa Beltran
Subject: End of Financial Year AppealI'd like to tell you about a woman I once knew. Her name was Marie and for over 39 years she was my wife. She died in October 2009 aged 61. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in early 2003.
Sent: Oct 11, 2011 7:08 AM

End of Financial Year Appeal

I'd like to tell you about a woman I once knew. Her name was Marie and for over 39 years she was my wife.

 

She died in October 2009 aged 61. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in early 2003.

 

At the time of diagnosis, she was 54 years of age, a healthy, happy, active and intelligent mother of three. She looked after herself, didn't drink, didn't smoke and was rarely sick.

 

After the diagnosis, her deterioration was rapid. For reasons that nobody can explain, Alzheimer's is often more aggressive in younger people.

 

She remained at home for four years after the diagnosis and her decline over those years was dramatic and deeply distressing to the entire family.

 

Looking back I can trace not only her decline, but the change in our relationship, and her relationship with the rest of our family. Proud, independent and courageous are words I often used to describe her. She had always been fiercely protective of her family and all those she loved, until Alzheimer's struck.

 

The marriage that had endured for more than three decades was changing so quickly that I barely understood what was happening to us. For all those years before the diagnosis we had shared everything that happened in our lives - the good, the bad, the wins and losses. It was a partnership of equals.

 

Alzheimer's changed everything and Marie soon became a dependent, defenceless person.

 

By late 2005, she needed help with such basic tasks as showering, dressing and feeding. Around that time there were the first ominous signs of incontinence which destroyed her self-esteem. A once proud and independent woman had become highly dependent - a stranger to me.

 

Her dependence in 2006 was so great that had she not been fed by me or one of our carers, I suspect she would have starved. She was diagnosed with depression and psychotic paranoia. Her moods became erratic and looking after her that year was so stressful that I lost more than 10 kg in weight.

 

Finally on medical advice I placed her in a nursing home - just before Christmas 2006. It was the hardest decision of my life and it haunts me still. She was 58 at the time, and I believe, the youngest person in the home.

 

From the time Marie entered the nursing home, the 'separation' of late 2005 had become much more like a bereavement. For nearly half of the three years in the home she was in a vegetative or near-vegetative state.

 

For the last six or nine months of her life she did appear to suffer from time to time. Her deterioration seemed to outpace the effectiveness of her medication. Her face would contort and she would squirm in her bed or daytime 'tub', a hospital recliner. Occasionally she would whine like a puppy in pain. When this occurred, I asked that her medication be increased and the suffering would subside.

 

I call her 'a woman I once knew' because in less than seven years she became a shell of who she had once been. Alzheimer's relentlessly took her away from me and our family.

 

Alzheimer's took far more than her memory and cognitive abilities. It took her independence, her self-esteem, her dignity, her personality and her identity. It took her ability to give love and accept love; it took away her place in her family and her community. It took everything that she once treasured.

 

Then it took her life.

In 2007 a book I had written over the previous two-and-a-half years was published. Remember me, Mrs V? Caring for my wife, her Alzheimer's and others' stories is a memoir. Because of the book, and my voluntary work for Alzheimer's Australia, I am regularly asked to speak at meetings and seminars and to do media interviews. These activities are often stressful but I will keep going so long as there are invitations. There is now evidence of hereditary links in younger onset Alzheimer's cases so my work is no longer about Marie, it's about my three adult children and five grandchildren.

 

Late last year I spoke at a seminar and met a world leader in dementia research, Laureate Professor Colin Masters. Through Colin, I learned of the work of the Mental Health Research Institute. I am in awe of the research done by brilliant scientists at the MHRI. Their work covers a range of psychiatric and neurodegenerative diseases, not just Alzheimer's. As a layman I see the brain as the last great frontier of medical science - it is a frontier that must be conquered sooner rather than later.

 

I'm asking you to support the work of the MHRI by donating generously. This is not about our generation; it is about your and my children, grandchildren and generations to come. They must be spared from Alzheimer's and the other destructive conditions that cluster under the 'mental health' umbrella. You don't have to be a medical scientist to make a difference, funding research is a very positive way forward. So act now, send your donation to the Mental Health Research Institute.
Thank you.

 

Yours sincerely

 

 

Tom Valenta

donate now

•http://act2endalznow.blogspot.com/
• http://www.causes.com/profiles/97139388